Show no.1: The Smell of Fear
8 April, 2016
First things first - I have successfully applied to the Arts Council England for a G4A and I have been awarded my grant for this project!! Excellent stuff!In the Spring of this year I found myself presenting at the Curve in Leicester in order to get on to the Curve Breakthrough Companies programme. I knew I wasn't ready for the programme, but I applied anyway. After the presentations, the Curve came to the same conclusion I did - that I wasn't ready. However, Michaela Butter, Director at the Attenborough Arts Centre (formerly Embrace Arts), was on the presentation panel and decided I had some potential. So she invited me to create a new show in association with the Attenborough Arts Centre, and help my development as a theatre maker in the hope that I might reapply to the Curve next year, but this time, be ready for it.
The Smell Of Fear is a new performance project exploring the worries and fears felt after recovering from depression. Meant to raise awareness and challenge attitudes towards depression and mental health, the show will explore concepts such as media coverage and PR attitudes, as well as taking inspiration from my own experience and that of others. I'll be working with Bright Sparks, a mental health artistic support group at the Attenborough Art Centre in order to inform and influence the show.
For me, depression was a shadow in my life that I have managed to put behind me. But like a shadow, it stays with me, and is sharpest when the sun shines. In The Smell Of Fear I will be sharing why love is so scary, why for the time being, I cannot jeopardise the life I've built for it, and how sadness can smack me in the face by bringing up old emotions, like a familiar smell that digs up an old memory.
The Smell Of Fear is being created in partnership with Bright Sparks, the Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust, and Sane UK, with the support of the Attenborough Arts Centre, and will be featured in their Spring Programme 2016.
I would like to extend a huge thank you to all those who have filled out my research questionnaire and shared their own experiences of depression with me already.
If you would like to share your own experiences with depression in order to help me inform the show, please click here to complete a short questionnaire.